The Lent Thing – Baltimore Style

I was reading back through an old post about Lent when it dawned on me I needed to pull the trigger on this year’s Lenten resolutions.  As I explained here  there are 3 things that need to happen: I need to 1) stop doing something, 2) start doing something and 3) something that is kept private. (i.e. I can’t give up potato chips and make that the “private” thing because it would become apparent very quickly as I’d be in the police notes pretty fast.)

So why after all these years do I still cling to making Lenten resolutions? For those not familiar with the  Baltimore Catechism, I invite you to look over the following:

My Youth Started Here

This is the “beginner” version of the Baltimore Catechism.  Anyone who went through similar formation can still do the rapid-fire answers to questions like, “WHO MADE YOU?” and “WHY DID GOD MAKE YOU?”

After that you graduated to an expanded version, the St. Joseph’s Baltimore Catechism.  That contained  more of the same on an expanded basis.  More to memorize.  More to stand up and parrot back to Here-Comes-Sister-Celestine-Riding-On-A-Jellybean.  (Our idea of really giving the nuns a hard time.)

There is something to be said for using rote memorization to train the memory but when I look back at these images I don’t feel so much proud of having a well-trained mind as horror at what kind of ideas we were trained with.

FYI Gay People Want to Marry The Person of Their Choice, Too

GIRLS: REMEMBER YOUR PLACE!

I have a dear friend who is my sherpa guide to hedonistic consumption.  I like to tell him he is “an occasion of sin” because he tempts me towards all kinds of impurities like expensive linens and splurging on gourmet cheeses and wines. My knee-jerk reaction toward what I perceive as excess was based on the following:

Priorities, Beeuches!

Yeah, television is definitely an occasion of sin. “Bonanza” was pretty scandalous. Ed Sullivan?  Don’t get me started.  Pure filth.

John would be considered a “BAD COMPANION!”

He’s actually a pretty good companion. (We rarely sneak a cigarette.) He’s taught me a lot about myself, including that we all deserve to have and enjoy nice things without beating ourselves up about it.

I’m all for a spring housecleaning of the soul but this year feels different. I’ve been sorting receipts for taxes and am appalled at the number of office visits, doctor visits, etc. that have piled up over the past year, and continue into this year.  My health has really sucked for the past 18 months (BTW, I’d be happy to give up lumbar steroid spinals for Lent) and I never did buy in to that “all pain and suffering can be offered up…will strengthen your faith” BS. So what to do for Lent when I already feel quite full-up with the existing penances in my life? I think I’ll flip things and make this Lent a time for feeding my soul instead purging all my “impurities” (like my lust for potato chips).  I’m going to find things that nourish my heart, help me cope with my aches and strengthen my beliefs and values. I’m going to replenish my tool chest of life and faith skills.  While that approach is not in sync with the Baltimore Catechism I believe if I can do that for 40 days I’ll come out on the other end as a stronger, better, faith-filled person – and that is what I believe to be the purpose of Lent.

Swap Performance Anxiety – Part I

We’ve already covered my anxiety issues with creativity in art, but I’ve taken it to a new level.  In the world of social media, the online quilter community is alive, well and active!  I ventured in to an online swap organized by an online peep  who threw out the idea of having a secret Santa swap via Twitter. I jumped right on that idea as a great way to venture in to my first-ever swap.   (Disclosure – in the evenings, I sit with my iPad and enjoy an adult beverage while I read through the tweets of like-minded quilters, comics, and others.) These “adult beverages” get me to do things I might not normally do if my performance anxiety fears are not properly repressed.

ANYWAY, I signed up for my first swap.  It took a little time for Amy to sort out the participants (I think there are over 50 of us) and get us all partnered off. There is a $15 limit, it can be hand made or not, and finished and in the mail  by December 10th.  Easy peasy, right?  Right.

Sure. Unless the Secret Santa Swap partner is a quilting uberstar.  Holy crap.  When I saw the name I nearly fell over.  My first reaction was to bail out.  Honest.  What do you do for someone like that?  I spent the first week just spiraling.  I spent the next week attempting to do some sashiko in her favorite colors.  It came out nice, but not “here is something I made just for you” nice, but “what the hell are you on” nice.  I caved in and set it aside. It’s not that bad, just not good enough to offer someone with her background.  Crap.  It’s just a swap, right?  It’s not eternal judgement, right?

In the end, I decided to…..WAIT.  I mailed the package today and I can’t really say what it is in it until it is received by my partner.  I’ll reveal who it is (and what I sent) in a later post.  In looking at the pictures of what other swappers sent (on a Flickr page) I’m feeling pretty okay about what I ended up doing.  Not great….. but okay.  That’s enough for me, the twin sister of Stuart Smalley:

Heavyweight Featherweight

Isn’t she beautiful?
This is my foster-sewing machine, lent to me by a dear friend who understands my Bernina-separation-anxiety (and is probably tired of hearing me endlessly whine…..)

Anyway, she is comfortably nestled in my sewing room and I have already used to her make a few blocks for a shop sample quilt we are doing for the New England Quilt Museum gift shop.  She sews like a dream – those of you lucky enough to have a featherweight can attest to the beautiful, straight stitch.  It even smells good. It  smells like my mother’s old Singer did way back when.  I was mid-project when the Bernina gave out and now that I can continue I have no idea how or where my head was when I started the project.  I was going to make a snazzy carrying case for my iPad and I had it all mapped out in my head how the different layers and separators would go together.  Now – nadda.  I vaguely remember… but not well enough to jump back in and finish.  (I have learned the hard way that you do NOT sew when you are 1) tired, 2) frustrated or 3) unclear on the details.)

I have an extra reason to be thankful for such a portable marvel of a machine. I spent an hour and 45 minutes crammed head-first into  a steel coffin (AKA MRI machine)  on Sunday and found out today that they DID NOT SCAN MY KNEE.  Lower spine, yes – knee, NO.  Since my original trip to the doctor was about not having any feeling or sensation or support in my knee (causing 2 horrific falls) I was speechless to find that it was the one thing they did not scan.  Today I have a 4PM appointment with my primary care physician (who has foisted me off on PA’s for the last several years, just sayin’) and we are going to have a 5-alarm come-to-Jesus.  I am angry and horrified that I underwent that terrifying (I’m claustrophobic) MRI against my wishes and have nothing to show for it that didn’t already show up on an MRI we did just six months ago.

Bottom line -  when I get hauled off to jail for gutting him like a fish I will at least have this little  featherweight  in its elegant black carrying case with me so I can make some stylish prison garb to wear to my anger management therapy sessions.  Seriously.