Okay, I’m still messing around with the look of my blog. This indicates…well, you already know.
My life is rebooting. I didn’t push the button or anything, it’s just rebooting. Mega heavy conference with my orthopedic/pain doc yesterday (AKA Dr. NomNom because he is HOT!) has left me with a fist full of new prescriptions and the realization that I am not ever going to be as carefree-mobile as I was ever again. The surgical options were rejected by both of us, him because they are rarely successful and me because I’m DONE with surgery. (If they gave out frequent surgery miles I’d be traveling non-stop.) It’s simply degenerative. There are no do-overs or rewinds or magic cures. Phrases like “managing the pain” and “experimenting with different drugs” are written – with ink – in my file.
So where do I go from here? What do I do? I need a job. I can’t commute very far, it’s physically impossible and consequently rules out a shot at the better paying and more interesting jobs. I know what I want to do. I want to do what I’ve wanted to do all my life. I want to sew. I want to make quilts. I want to make quilts, totes, bags, my funky necklaces (like these), custom quilts for babies, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays. I want a room in my house where I can walk in every day and be happy that I am there and do what I love. I have the room. I have the equipment. I have a good stash. That part is done. I have my husband’s shop to sell in, as well as being ready (and able) to set up and market an on-line shop. I even have all the wholesale paperwork and permits because we have them through Joe’s store.
I have no idea how to do the rest.
Venture capital would be necessary – the bills still need to be paid while all of this is being sorted out. I can’t see mailing Verizon a nice wall hanging and saying, “Here, this is for July, August and September, I’m trying to get my business up and running, m’kay?” Frankly no bank around here is going to invest in a home business making “those blanket things” as the Illuminati tend to call quilts.
I’m not getting any younger. In fact, in about 3 weeks I’ll be getting another year older. If not now, when do I do this? I’ve had it in the back of my mind for ages and ages. I always thought, “Someday I’ll be able to do what I really love.” I have fewer days in front of me than I do behind me. This is probably my last chance to do this. I’m terrified. I’m not sure how to make this happen but I want to close my eyes and jump. No regrets. I never want to look back at this time and think, “I should have done it then.”
So what do I do? How do I make this happen? Anyone? Esty and Twitter peeps who have done this – how did you get started?